Random Thoughts and Observations: February 1, 2009

It’s been a busy weekend. So much so that I haven’t really had a lot of time to compose my own thoughts even though I updated Lucy’s Blog. Sometimes it’s just easier to see things from her perspective that to think my own thoughts. I really enjoyed this weekend and the company that we had. I just wish I had another day to do laundry and rest a little. It would just make the week seem a little less long. I can’t complain though. I don’t think that I’ve worked but maybe a couple of full weeks since Christmas for one reason or another. Anyway, here are just a few random thoughts for today:

• I think that cities should have an ordnance that states that developers cannot build a mini mall until every other mini mall within the city has full occupancy. I saw another mini mall going up today on the way to Farmington, and saw several along the same road that have maybe one tenant. I loathe seeing land developed for these stupid mini malls that have no tenants.
• I much prefer Puppy Bowl to the Super Bowl. I just don’t care for professional football despite my love of college football.
• I’m hoping that this week will be normal and calm. You know, no rear endings, no colonoscopies, no ice storms, no disasters or issues at all. I just want to go to work this week, have a calm week at work, come home in the evenings, play with my dog, prepare dinner, do the dishes, iron, cuddle with Bart, and call it a day.
• I’ll be happy when the dirt road in front of our subdivision is repaved.
• I love Rick’s Bakery sugar cookies and sausage rolls!
• I still get a kick out of talking to my niece, Emma, on the phone. She’s a card.
• I love my family, both blood, my marriage, and those friends who’ve become family over the years.

Listened to: The Heart of Life from the album “Continuum” by John Mayer

Listened to: Waiting for the Next Drug from the album “Not Only… But Also” by The 88

Fireside Nothings: January 25, 2009

Listened to: Vegetable Car from the album “Simple Times” by Joshua Radin

I have many things that I’ve wanted to blog about the, and I feel that I must do it now because tomorrow we’re supposed to be blessed with ice, a lot of ice, to the point where we may not have luxuries such as electricity or cable and cable Internet in a few days. So I must blog now if I’m to do it at all. Hopefully, just hopefully this preventative measure will be for not.

Bart

I want to say a hearty thank you to everyone who has been praying for Bart the past few days. His colonoscopy went well, or at least it went as well as can be expected considering the type of procedure that it is. Thankfully, there was nothing cancerous down there, but they did find two spots of inflammation from which they took biopsies. We’re actually hoping that they come back posiive ( I think) because that would mean Bart has inflammatory bowel disease, which is somewhat more treatable than just irritable bowel syndrome.

It was rather interesting to be the person responsible for Bart after his procedure. He would probably be a funny drunk if either of us ever wished to take up drinking as a past-time. Oh, the things that he said to me ranged from despite the fact that he didn’t have “ovarians,” he felt he needed to impart to his doctor that there was a family history of ovarian cancer. Of course he almost forgot about the grandfather who actually did have colon cancer and the uncle who died of liver cancer. it certainly made for an interesting day, Thursday, that’s for sure.

Blogging

At Bart’s suggestion, I started a blog for Lucy, Lucy’s ‘Splanations. This is only further proof, I think, that we need to have a baby. God’s still teaching us patience in that arena, though, and in the meantime I think it’s fun. I wish that I had started it when we got her because there have been so many fun incidents in the past year that would have made fun reading. Also, pets are with us such a short period of time that we should cherish the time we do have with them and keep record of it. I wish I had kept if not a blog because it was the eighties and nineties, but a journal of my adventures growing up with my lab-chow, Jetta.

Also, I’ve been working at converting WordPress export files into Blogger ones so that I can cross post to my Blogger Blog. I started my first blog, almost four years ago at Bllogger. Then they changed Blogger to where I didn’t like it. Also, I’m always wanting to try new things. I’ve moved to Vox, then here to WordPress. Somehow, though ecto blogging software, I managed to copy all of my vox posts here, and now I’m wanting to do the same, but with the comments to Blogger. I don’t know which I’ll keep, possibly both, if for no other reason that between the two I should be able to keep and move my entire blog when and if I want the change. Don’t get me wrong, I love WordPress, but Blogger has improved a great deal, and I can actually edit my template there more. If I do a complete move, it won’t be for some time. Getting posts converted to Blogger takes quite a bit of time and effort, but I’ve made a good start.

Writing

Also, I’ve been creating a website for my own fan fictions, starting with Once of Ingleside. Along with just posting my works there, I’m editing them (which they badly need) and revising them just enough to clean them up a great deal. I still want to finish my own WWII fic based on Anne Blythe’s grandchildren, but I’ve spent so much time away from them that I need to go back and get to know them again. There’s nothing that I hate more than for characters to change so completely because their creators have lost all touch with them. Also, I’ve fallen into that trap of having rather too many characters. I may have to not feature some quite so much in one series of fictions and let each or a few maybe have their own individual stories, not unlike Cath’s Cecilia and Bertha stories and Louise’s concurrent Jane and Meggie stories.

Life in General

Again, we’re under a Winter Ice Warning, so I don’ know how much blogging will be done in the next few days. So, I just want to say that I’ll be happy if I can just sit here on the couch with the fire burning to my right, Lucy in my lap, and a good book in my hand. There’s just something nice about that. Oh, and I guess that it’ll be nice to have Bart here too. I couldn’t do without him.

Random Thoughts and Observations: January 6,2009 Edition

• You may think that I’ve been uncharacteristically quiet these past weeks. I suppose I have been, but if you could have seen the slew of unfinished drafts that I just deleted, you would know that it hasn’t been entirely on purpose. By the time I get to sit down in the evenings with my Mac, I usually seem to completely lose focus on the things I wanted to post about throughout the day. Today I’m taking advantage of a little down-time at work. So I can actually publish a post, even if it isn’t devoted to just one topic but is filled with my random thoughts and observations.
• First of all, please pray for Bart. His IBS is getting so bad these days that he’s miserable more often than not. He’s been to the doctor about it, but now I think it’s time for him to see a specialist. He can’t go anywhere without becoming ill anymore, and the severity of his illness is growing. Just to see if an intolerance to something is triggering this, we’re avoiding MSG in everything he eats for a while. I’m afraid it’s not just MSG but an intolerance or allergy to glutens as a whole. If that’s so, then we’re going to have to seriously rethink our entire diet.
• Secondly, I appreciate all the prayers coming our way as we continue to try for a baby. Sometimes I grow impatient and irritable, but I understand that it will happen in God’s time, not mine. I must stop setting little, personal deadlines for it because other than making the conscious decision to no longer use birth control, I have little to no control as to when it will happen.
• With the start of a new year, I of course want to organize my entire house and get rid of anything that has little to no sentimental value and hasn’t been used in at least a year or two. It’s amazing how quickly two people and a dog can clutter a decent-sized house! Until we really get at this, we really don’t have room for a baby!
• Now that Christmas is over I ready for Spring. We had a pretty, warm day Saturday, and it was just so nice to be able to be outside with Lucy. We took her for her first walk in probably weeks around the neighborhood. She was so happy to go for a walk again that she just ran and ran and ran. Then I handed Bart the leash, and she ran just as much again. OK, I don’t want you to think that she’s not getting exercise since it’s cold, but it’s been limited to playing the back yard when we were able to be outside. Also, between my having the flu, a cold, stomach flu, and whatever else I haven’t been able to be outside, and you know Bart’s plight.
• Lastly, even though my favorite team (Oklahoma) is playing in the BCS National Championship Game Thursday night, I am more convinced than ever that NCAA football needs to overhaul the Bowl System and create a playoff system not unlike March Madness in basketball.  There was once a time when I loved to watch every bowl, but that’s no longer the  case.  Most of the teams think they should be at a better bowl and don’t play to their potential, and there are so many bowl games that they’re no longer the special, wonderful event they once were.  I also hate that most of the games aren’t played on New Year’s Day now.  The Championship should be played on New Year’s Day, and all of December should be used as a playoff time.  New Year’s bowls are boring now, and it absolutley horrible that  most of the BCS games are played on weeknights when you have to choose between watching one of the only good bowl games and going to bed to prepare for work or school the next day.

Things to look forward to…

Mondays are always a bit of a trial for me. It always depresses me to no end knowing that the work week is just beginning. So, I’m compiling a list of things that I look forward to in the next few weeks.

1. My office Christmas Party is Thursday night. Although we never stay too long at one of these events, it’s always good for a fun blooper reel.
2. Only two work-weeks until I take my final four vacation days Christmas week.
3. 24 hours of “A Christmas Story.”
4. Giving the girls their Wii for Christmas.
5. My mom’s scalloped potatoes.
6. “Every time a bell rings, and angel gets it’s wings.”
7. Finally, eventually seeing “Australia.”
8. Fudge. I want some fudge – without nuts.
9. Church Services.
10. My fifth wedding anniversary, even though we’re going to be at my brother-in-law’s graduation and commissioning.
11. The BCS National Championship Game. I know my Sooners are considered the underdogs, that we can no longer win bowl games, and that there’s no way we can compete with the SEC, but I’m still excited. The last time we were the underdogs in a National Championship Game, we went home with a trophy.

Minor Dilemma

Dear readers, the whole two-three of you, I have a minor dilemma on my hands and could use a little input. First of all, let me tell you now that this is not a life-threatening problem or anything like that. I just can’t decide what to do tomorrow. That’s all.

You see, Bart’s going to his parent’s house tomorrow for the day so he can pick up a pistol he bought from a dealer-friend down there, and while he’s there he’s going to scan some pictures for a digital frame we’re all giving his Mema for Christmas. Normally I would go with him without a fuss, but I really just want to stay home all this weekend and do things around the house so that maybe someday we can put up our Christmas tree. I’ve gone back and forth, wavering between the two decisions, and I really can’t decide. I have nothing against spending time with my in-laws. I love them dearly. I just really feel like I would be a happier person if I stayed home and did things like fold laundry, dust, change sheets, and such.

Bart doesn’t want me to stay home. I think he more or less wants me to go because he wants to take Lucy to play with Lica, his parent’s dog. If I go, I know that I’m going to feel stressed and rushed all day Sunday and then ALL of next week. There just aren’t enough days in a weekend nor hours in a day to run around every weekend. I know I’ll probably cave and go, but maybe I’ll do what’s best for me….

Jots from the iPod: ” The Trying Game”

This whole “trying for a baby” process has to be absolutely the biggest emotional roller coaster that I’ve ever been on. Every month you try, then you wait. I think one of the most frustrating aspects is that the symptoms for both early pregnancy and your monthly are basically the same. Then every month when your friend comes to visit, you feel huge disappointment, like a failure, and slightly devesdated; even more so when your friend decides to visit a week late, like mine did this month.

Then there’s that jealousy of those who don’t seem to have any trouble at all having kids. Really, it sometimes seems like the only people who don’t have problems are those who aren’t trying, possibly don’t want a baby, and/ or shouldn’t have one. It just seems horribly unfair that we did everything the right way; we’re married, we can afford a baby, and we even own our home, and we’re still are without while countless babies are concieved daily who will be aborted by women who don’t want them.

So far we’ve not lost a baby yet. Of that I can be grateful. I have friends who are made of stronger mettle than I who’ve endured this. My prayers are always with them because I know what it is to miss that which I never had. So I know that to lose what you did have, even for a little while, much be ever so much more difficult.

I know that when His time is right, God will provide us a child like he did Sara, Rachel, Ruth, Hannah, and Elizabeth.

Jots from the iPod: " The Trying Game"

This whole “trying for a baby” process has to be absolutely the biggest emotional roller coaster that I’ve ever been on. Every month you try, then you wait. I think one of the most frustrating aspects is that the symptoms for both early pregnancy and your monthly are basically the same. Then every month when your friend comes to visit, you feel huge disappointment, like a failure, and slightly devesdated; even more so when your friend decides to visit a week late, like mine did this month.

Then there’s that jealousy of those who don’t seem to have any trouble at all having kids. Really, it sometimes seems like the only people who don’t have problems are those who aren’t trying, possibly don’t want a baby, and/ or shouldn’t have one. It just seems horribly unfair that we did everything the right way; we’re married, we can afford a baby, and we even own our home, and we’re still are without while countless babies are concieved daily who will be aborted by women who don’t want them.

So far we’ve not lost a baby yet. Of that I can be grateful. I have friends who are made of stronger mettle than I who’ve endured this. My prayers are always with them because I know what it is to miss that which I never had. So I know that to lose what you did have, even for a little while, much be ever so much more difficult.

I know that when His time is right, God will provide us a child like he did Sara, Rachel, Ruth, Hannah, and Elizabeth.

My Christmas Blahs

I’m having a difficult time getting into the holiday spirit so far. Actually, I’m having a difficult time getting excited for much of anything these days. That ever present lack of time to enjoy anything burrows at my soul so much that I don’t really enjoy much in that grand sense anymore. Oh, I enjoy things some, but there’s always that nagging sense of what I need to do, what I have to do, and sadly what I can’t seem to find time to do. Those things seem to just niggle at me to the point where they steal my joy.

I had a good, long weekend for Thanksgiving, but stayed so busy that there were of course things that I didn’t do this weekend that needed to be done. We’re going to go to Greenwood Saturday so Bart can pick up his new gun, but I’m still sort of toying with the idea of letting Bart go alone. I need to be at home to do housework and not feel rushed like I will if we save most of it for Sunday. Well, we may do the hardest part of the housework Friday night and get groceries Sunday, but I don’t know…

Anyway, in three short weeks, I’ll have another week off for Christmas, but already I can’t help but dwell on how little we’ll be at home that week. We have a graduation / commissioning to attend the 20′th, which is also my fifth wedding anniversary, not that it will matter. We’ll get to be home Sunday – Tuesday before going to my Mom’s for Christmas Eve, spending the night, going to Bart’s parents’ Christmas, spending the night, and then at some point going to Bart’s Mema’s get-together.

I’m getting to the point where I’m pretty sure that this will be the LAST Christmas we spend the night anywhere, because it won’t be fair to stay at one parent’s house over the other, and I would rather just stay home anyway. We never spent the night at any of my grandparents’ houses and had wonderful Christmases. We would visit for a few hours and go to our own home. Besides, when / if we ever have kids, I want them to have Christmas morning at our home.

I think that’s a great part of my problem. We haven’t had a normal Christmas morning of opening all of our gifts when we awoke since we’ve been married. The closest we ever got to it was a couple of years ago, and Bart always makes us save some gifts to open at his parents’ house. They don’t wait on us, so I told him that this year we’ll open all of our gifts to each other Christmas morning. We’ll have gifts from his parents and to give his parents when we get to Greenwood, but we’ll not split our gifts to each other out of some weird sense of obligation.

(Sigh) So, there’s my big Christmas rant. I guess more or less I just need to give all those things that clutter my mind to God so that they won’t steal my joy. Then it won’t matter where we are, or whom we’re with.

The girl with the long flowing blond butt-hair turns 1

Click on the above photo to watch Scrapblog

A year ago I knew that I wanted a dog. I wanted one very badly because I had grown up with a good dog and knew what wonderful friends and companions they are. I also knew that this time around I wanted either a golden retriever or a bernese mountain dog because they’re supposed to be so friendly. The problem was convincing Bart because he doesn’t like to change much of anything, and he’s always been more of a cat person. What I didn’t know a year ago was that a little puppy with orangeish / red fur and a white spot on both her head and chest was taking her first breaths.

I had finally managed to get Bart to consent to a “maybe” in regards to getting a dog for Christmas / anniversary. So, all fall I scoured over newspapers ads and websites looking for an affordable puppy. Finally on Sunday, December 16′th I saw an ad in the paper for golden retriever puppies, Bart was home to go look for once, and told me to give them a call. It just so happened that they were at the K-Mart in Springdale and had one female puppy. Bart said, “Let’s go get you a puppy.”

It was love at first sight, let me tell you. She was just so sweet and scared. When we drove to Petco to get supplies then home, she just kept her little head in the crook of my arm, while farting. Once we got home, she started settling in fairly quickly.

At first I wondered if it had been a mistake to get her. I loved her, but the lack of sleep and the extra energy a new puppy takes were both SOOOOO consuming. Then somehow, we all three got used to the new living arrangements, and developed a routine. Thankfully Lucy lives for routine. That has come in very handy with everything from potty-training, to bedtime, and especially our having to leave for work.

Even though she started out as “my” dog, she’s very much our dog, our starter kid. She’s as much a member of the family as anyone else. I look forward to playing hours of racquetball with her and coming home to cuddle up on the couch with her. She’s our little Blue-Light Special, our Puppy Snowflake, our Pumpkin, our Lucy-girl. I hope we have many more happy years together.

“…disguise of every sort is my abhorrence…”

I believe that one of my greatest pet-peeves is insincere, fake people. Have you ever noticed that the more sugar a person slaps around, the less real they are? They’ll flatter you to your face then stab you in the back at the first opportunity to advance or protect themselves.

i make this statement not because I have recently been mistreated by such a person, but because I see this behavior every day from people in every walk of life, and like Mr. Darcy, it is my abhorrence! Politicians are the greatest example of people such as this, but they’re far from being alone in this category. Former friends in high school have fallen into this category in lessons learned the most difficult way, as well as coworkers who use this technique to manipulate situations for their own benefit, and acquaintances trying to ingratiate themselves into circles of family or friends.

I respect people who are the same person, no matter the company with whom they keep. I think that one of the greatest compliments that I have ever been given was my freshman or sophomore year of college. A rather new friend told me that they appreciated how real I was. I didn’t understand it totally at the time, and there have been times when I too have been far from “real,” but looking back at circumstances and history I greatly appreciate that compliment. I’m a very blunt person and tend to call things as I see them. I see little reason to pretend to be something that I’m not in order to impress someone, especially the older I get.

I hope that I’m never a different person one place than I am at another. I hope there’s no difference between “Adrienne at work”, “Adrienne at church”, “Adrienne at home”, and so on. I suppose that’s just a part of growing up, and becoming comfortable within my own skin. I can never be something that God didn’t make me to be. I may convince myself that I’ll be happy, but in the end, I’ll be miserable.

Why post this now? I don’t really know other than it was laid upon me to do so, sort of. Do I wish to promote myself? Hardly. Just talking to a few people today has made me want to share this observation.