My Deep Thoughts

Maybe it’s the sombre music that I’m listening to. Maybe it’s because that with the passing of a new season, I always tend to be somewhat reflective. Maybe it’s because it’s an hour that in my world is considered relatively late. Whatever the reason, my thoughts run deep tonight.

I’m not a person who is ever overly burdened with worry. I was raised by a person who worried about things to basically ridiculous heights, therefore I try never to allow myself to become overly histerical about much of anything. Maybe that’s because I have faith that I’ll never be given anything that I cannot handle. Maybe I’m too calm about things. I don’t know. I’m never one to want a big deal made of much of anything. I’m a fan of the status quo.

Sometimes deep-seeded thoughts and fears creep past my subconcious into my waking mind. Fears somewhat more serious than my anxiety over bird excrement falling from the sky onto my head surface. I worry about the direction of our country. I worry about having children some day. I worry that I may not be able to have them, then I worry what kind of parent I’ll be if I do. I certainly want to do better than my mother.

I worry about my neices. I work in an environment where I hear all the horrors and atrocitiies that depraved individuals to do children, and I fear for their safety. I worry about my mother living all alone. Everytime I see an older woman buying groceries obviously just for herself, I think of her. Though I like time to myself, I know what it is to be lonely, and it’s such an empty feeling. Not many people choose to be alone: it’s often thrust upon them.

I don’t worry about Global Warming. I don’t believe that it’s nearly the problem that Albert Gore wants me to believe. The Earth has been heating and cooling for thousands of years. It is horribly arrogant of us to assume that we are the cause of the miniscule average temperature rise there has been since such measurements have been taken. Does that mean that I’m pro-pollution? Hardly. It just means that I don’t think that we’re in as dire straits as some say.

I worry about terrorism. I find it difficult to believe that anyone who witnessed the events of September 11, 2001, April 19, 1995, or February 23, 1993 should not. It’s not something that we can just ignore and it will disappear into the abyss from whence it came. It’s real, and it’s an honest threat. Voluntary ingorance isn’t bliss.

I’m finished with my deep thoughts for tonight. I know they’re not what some people were wanting me to write tonight, but I’m a finicky writer of my prose.

Currently reading : Russka: The Novel of Russia By Edward Rutherfurd

My Deep Thoughts

Maybe it's the sombre music that I'm listening
to.  Maybe it's because that with the passing of a new season, I always
tend to be somewhat reflective.  Maybe it's because it's an hour that
in my world is considered relatively late.  Whatever the reason, my
thoughts run deep tonight.

I'm not a person who is ever overly
burdened with worry.  I was raised by a person who worried about things
to basically ridiculous heights, therefore I try never to allow myself
to become overly histerical about much of anything.  Maybe that's
because I have faith that I'll never be given anything that I cannot
handle.  Maybe I'm too calm about things.  I don't know.  I'm never one
to want a big deal made of much of anything.  I'm a fan of the status
quo.

Sometimes deep-seeded thoughts and fears creep past my
subconcious into my waking mind.  Fears somewhat more serious than my
anxiety over bird excrement falling from the sky onto my head surface. 
I worry about the direction of our country.  I worry about having
children some day.  I worry that I may not be able to have them, then I
worry what kind of parent I'll be if I do.  I certainly want to do
better than my mother. 

I worry about my neices.  I work in an
environment where I hear all the horrors and atrocitiies that depraved
individuals to do children, and I fear for their safety.  I worry about
my mother living all alone.  Everytime I see an older woman buying
groceries obviously just for herself, I think of her.  Though I like
time to myself, I know what it is to be lonely, and it's such an empty
feeling.  Not many people choose to be alone: it's often thrust upon
them.

I don't worry
about Global Warming.  I don't believe that it's nearly the problem
that Albert Gore wants me to believe.  The Earth has been heating and
cooling for thousands of
years.  It is horribly arrogant of us to assume that we are the cause
of the miniscule average temperature rise there has been since such
measurements have been taken.  Does that mean that I'm pro-pollution? 
Hardly.  It just means that I don't think that we're in as dire straits
as some say.

I worry about terrorism.  I find it difficult to
believe that anyone who witnessed the events of September 11, 2001,
April 19, 1995, or February 23, 1993 should not.  It's not something
that we can just ignore and it will disappear into the abyss from
whence it came.  It's real, and it's an honest threat.  Voluntary
ingorance isn't bliss.

I'm finished with my deep thoughts for
tonight.  I know they're not what some people were wanting me to write
tonight, but I'm a finicky writer of my prose.

Currently reading : Russka: The Novel of Russia By Edward Rutherfurd Rel

It’s Amazing

Tonight I’m feeling my roots as I listen to Alan Jackson’s “Precious Memories” album on my iPod. Yesterday evening it shuffled to one of the songs, and I enjoed it so much that I decided to listen to the entire album. Then I decided to listen to an entire playist I have of just hymns.

I love those old “timey” hymns that you can find in a worn and battered copy of “Heavenly Highways.” They have so much feeling and ring true in a way that I don’t believe that a great deal of today’s modern worship songs can even attempt. How many services have I sat through as chorus after chorus of a worship song is repeated, long after people have stopped walking the aisle or even praying? I don’t feel that way about the old hymns. I feel connected to generations of believers before me and possibly the Heavenly Hosts singing “Standing on the Promises” with me.

When I especially hear the wonderful hymns of “How Great Thou Art,” “Holy, Holy, Holy,” and of course “Amazing Grace” the timelessness of God in three persons all around me. I can be where I am and yet I can still be that young girl at a Fifth Sunday Singing at church with the yellowed lights shining down on me as I sit on the velvet cushions of the pews. I can almost even hear the trains that always came down the tracks in Heavener. It’s an amazig experience, and I would forsake it for nothing.

I suppose some would probably see this as laughable, but nothing can ever strip me of that “Blessed Assurance.”

Currently listening : Amazing Grace: Music Inspired by the Motion Picture By Chris Tomlin

It’s Amazing

Tonight I’m feeling my roots as I listen to Alan
Jackson’s “Precious Memories” album on my iPod.  Yesterday evening it
shuffled to one of the songs, and I enjoed it so much that I decided to
listen to the entire album.  Then I decided to listen to an entire
playist I have of just hymns.

I love those old “timey” hymns
that you can find in a worn and battered copy of “Heavenly Highways.” 
They have so much feeling and ring true in a way that I don’t believe
that a great deal of today’s modern worship songs can even attempt. 
How many services have I sat through as chorus after chorus of a
worship song is repeated, long after people have stopped walking the
aisle or even praying?  I don’t feel that way about the old hymns.  I
feel connected to generations of believers before me and possibly the
Heavenly Hosts singing “Standing on the Promises” with me.

When
I especially hear the wonderful hymns of “How Great Thou Art,” “Holy,
Holy, Holy,” and of course “Amazing Grace” the timelessness of God in
three persons all around me.  I can be where I am and yet I can still
be that young girl at a Fifth Sunday Singing at church with the
yellowed lights shining down on me as I sit on the velvet cushions of
the pews.  I can almost even hear the trains that always came down the
tracks in Heavener.  It’s an amazig experience, and I would forsake it
for nothing. 

I suppose some would probably see this as laughable, but nothing can ever strip me of that “Blessed Assurance.”

Currently listening : Amazing Grace: Music Inspired by the Motion Picture By Chris Tomlin

26 Days…

    If all goes well, in 26 days, Bart and I will
move in to our new home!  I can’t wait to get there, start putting
things were they go, and plant some flowers!  Also, I can’t wait to get
away from the Hwy 62 traffic!

Currently listening : All The Stars And Boulevards By Augustana Release date: By 06 September, 2005

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I Think I’m a Grown-Up Now

I was just glancing at my MySpace profile and experienced one of those odd moments when you can no longer remember exactly how old you are.  I saw the little “About Me” spot and read where it said that I’m twenty-six.  My first thought was that I should probably change that because it’s not true anymore, but I really am still twenty-six years old for another month and twenty-one days.

I suppose that this general confusion is due to the fact that the last digit of my age always coincides with the last digit of the year – well after May First it does.  Also, I’m feeling a bit older and more adult these days because we’re in the process of buying our first house.  It’s a daunting task, and it makes us feel almost really grown-up.  Both of us still hold out that we won’t really be grown-up until we have kids.

It’s funny how we’re married and in our late twenties, and we still don’t feel or even want to feel completely grown-up.  I guess that’s good though.  I’ve always noticed that the happiest people are those who always hold on to a piece of their childhood.

I Think I’m a Grown-Up Now

I was just glancing at my MySpace profile and experienced one of those odd moments when you can no longer remember exactly how old you are. I saw the little “About Me” spot and read where it said that I’m twenty-six. My first thought was that I should probably change that because it’s not true anymore, but I really am still twenty-six years old for another month and twenty-one days.

I suppose that this general confusion is due to the fact that the last digit of my age always coincides with the last digit of the year – well after May First it does. Also, I’m feeling a bit older and more adult these days because we’re in the process of buying our first house. It’s a daunting task, and it makes us feel almost really grown-up. Both of us still hold out that we won’t really be grown-up until we have kids.

It’s funny how we’re married and in our late twenties, and we still don’t feel or even want to feel completely grown-up. I guess that’s good though. I’ve always noticed that the happiest people are those who always hold on to a piece of their childhood.